This is a website for chavs who are sick and tired of Burberry making us look bad by selling fur in their shops. Isn't it? As Britain's most prominent representatives of Burberry, we feel that we are entitled to a stake in their brand identity and a legitimate interest in their reputation, which is currently tarnished by the business's decision to associate itself with the vicious cruelty of the fur industry by selling the skins of tortured animals instead of just sticking to those nice plaid baseball caps and jumpers that everyone likes so much.
Isn't it?*
If Burberry's going to piss all over their reputation like this, then it makes us look bad, innit?
I would boycott Burberry forever if it wasn't for this hideous plaid cap I've had fused to my head.
I gave my mum a Burberry jumper for her 16th birthday this year. Now I wish I hadn't.
When I get finished with a long day of sitting in Macky Dees and being unpleasant to people, all I want to do is relax in a nice car park with a few bottles of cider and 37 of my closest friends and vomit all over my velour tracksuit. I don't want to have to worry about whether the clothes from my favourite shop are ethically sourced!
I've been wearing Burberry as long as I can remember – even before I got my first STD. My mum used to take me to the Burberry in our local shopping centre when I was too young to spend every waking hour there making unintelligible threats to passers-by and shouting obscenities at people for no fucking reason. I'd hate to have to stop wearing Burberry clothes, but if they can't bloody well be classy, then it's back to the tracksuits for me.
If you'd asked me a few years ago, I might have had at least a vaguely intelligible opinion on the subject, but ever since I've discovered football hooliganism and binge drinking, I'll go along with pretty much anything my peer group appears to condone, so I wouldn't go so far as to speak out against Burberry's support of the fur industry unless that's what everyone else is doing. Does that answer the question?
We, the undersigned, petition Burberry to stop selling fur in its stores, on account of it's a bit fucking sleazy, innit? It's singularly unfair that animals are made to suffer horribly for Burberry clothes and that chavs are having their good image tarnished by Burberry's sliding reputation.
